Growing up in a political family, Tessa joined her first political party at 14. Her interest in progressive politics & economics continues.
The Day I Turned Down a Republican
Like me, he lived in San Diego, California. Unlike me, he was stinking rich and pretty powerful. So when he asked me out, along with it came the attitude that he was doing me a favour. It was also pretty obvious he expected me to say yes and to be excited about it. So imagine his surprise when I turned him down flat.
He was outraged and told me that I had no idea how to treat a successful man. He also pointed out that other women did.
This man could not conceive that all the money and power in the world could not buy me.
I Turned Him Down Because He Was a Republican
It is a fact of life that one’s political views reflects one’s values. If you’re an authoritarian and an elitist or a Christian, you believe some are superior to others. The political party you support declares your world view, and your world view is an expression of your character.
So, while not every Republican will believe every tenet of the conservative stance, each and every tenet of that belief system is morally repugnant to me, and I will neither date nor associate with those who have morals and/or ethics which are unacceptable to me.
The Stagnant World View of Republicans
The conservative view is based on tradition. It is passed down from father to son, and it makes no allowances for new data that disproves old dogma.
The reason that this is so attractive to many is that it takes time and energy to analyse new incoming data. Essentially, conservative people do not wish to expend the kind of time it takes to evaluate anything that is challenging.
It is so much easier to accept a world view passed down through the ages.
It is also safer to accept what has gone before. Taking on a new perspective requires courage. There is the possibility that one is wrong, and some people are petrified of being wrong.
There is also the point that those who have benefited from the conservative tradition will not be willing to let it go.
The Basic Mind-set of a Republican
Republicans believe all or some of the tenets listed below.
- Authority is given by God
- Women need to submit to men, are second class citizens, and their place is at home bringing up their family and fawning all over their partners.
- Republican men believe at some level that women admire men of wealth and power and that they can be bought. This means that men with power and money can grab private parts and get away with it because women are of such low moral character that they will permit this. Women will be so overwhelmed by the money and power of the man that they will remain silent because they, too, want some of that power and money.
- Those who are successful are so because they worked hard and were superior to others in some way. The corollary is that those who are poor are lazy, stupid, or have some other negative traits that keep them poor.
- Taxes should be used for the military. They should also be available to politicians for the personal upliftment of their private lives. Everything else should be paid for by citizens.
- The State is not responsible for people’s education, health or general well-being. In other words, the State should not be concerned with the infrastructure providing security and means for its citizens.
- All men are allowed to make their own decisions, regardless of whether these decisions are uncomfortable or have a negative effect on others. So they can sprout the gospel of Jesus Christ in the streets, march with their Nazi insignia, and/or permit bosses to work their workers to death.
- Business status determines one’s value to society. It is believed that business is benevolent because it provides jobs and income to those of a lesser status. What is overlooked is that the motive of business is not benevolent and no longer serves the greater good of planet earth and its many lifeforms.
- Christianity makes one a good person. It also means that one can break laws, be unethical, immoral, and do what one likes because all one has to do is pray to a non-existent entity, and then one gets a get-out-of-jail-free card.
- Climate change is a hoax. Science keeps changing and it is always wrong. It should not be taught in schools because it will turn people away from God. For some reason, the scientific method of determining what is factual and what is not is confused with 'science.'
- It is competition that brings out the best in people – regardless of the fact that research for the past ten or twenty years has determined otherwise.
- It’s acceptable for a politician to do unethical and immoral things and to remain in office. There is no such thing as doing the honourable thing and stepping down. Politicians do not have to set an example of goodness and wisdom to others. Nor can they be held accountable for their ‘failings.’ So long as their wives stand by them, all is forgiven.
- It is morally acceptable for business to lobby government, despite this being defined as state capture in other countries and being seen as corruption and therefore illegal.
Cooperation is Better than Competition
An Inhumane and Unkind Perspective
When I have analyzed all those perspectives, what remains is that while some will undoubtedly benefit from those politiies, the greater majority will not.
Those who come from poor homes cannot afford excellent education, and if the goverment doesn't supply it, they are lost for all time.
Those who struggle through ill health, disability, or some other fate will find themselves homeless sooner or later. Of course, if through an accident of fate, they have wealthy parents or an independent income, then they will be fine.
When religious perspectives are forced on those who do not believe those dogmas, then there is no freedom of belief. People's lives become a misery because they cannot openly state their insights and show their real character. They are forced to support what they consider evil.
When the love of power and money is such that government has become inhumane, then people who support such a regime must be inhumane themselves.
The Bottom Line? I Would Never Date a Conservative!
The ethical and moral stance of any individual is vitally important to my acceptance or rejection of them.
I cannot accept those who impose a system that is inhumane to people. I don't care home much 'success' they have or how kind and generous they are to their friends ad those of like-belief system. That is tribal. I am humanist. I support policies that enable all human beings to flourish regardless of creed and class.
It doesn't mean I have to associate with everybody and it doesn't mean I have to agree with everybody. It just means that I think that they're entitled to as much money, resources, and safety as everybody else.
This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.
© 2017 Tessa Schlesinger
Partsking on March 21, 2019:
Yeah, no, that never happened. :D
Tessa Schlesinger (author) on January 26, 2019:
"Hidden Name." Thank you for providing an excellent example of exactly the kind of of thinking and behavior that I will not tolerate in someone I might date.
I am not much of an admirer of the kind of moral cowardice you display in not revealing your name. The Democrats are not destroying America. The American culture is destroying itself.
I also cannot be 'a large part of the party getting destroyed' because a) I am not American and b) I have never been able to vote in America because I never took on American citizenship while an LEGAL immigrant.
However, I would never date a Republican for the reasons expressed.
Hidden Name on January 25, 2019:
Tessa Schlesinger, you are a terrible person. It's not just that you don't want to date a Republican, it's that you want to silence anybody with different views than you. The Democratic party is destroying America, and you are part of that destruction. You don't believe in democracy. The Democrats have hit an all time low, and you are a large part of the party getting destroyed.
Larry W Fish from Raleigh on April 07, 2018:
Tessa, when I saw this article I just had to read it. The republican party in the US has gotten about as low as it possibly can under Trump. Notice I said Trump, I will never consider him as my president. You should be proud of yourself for having the morals and outlook on life that you have.
Tessa Schlesinger (author) on March 23, 2018:
Lorelei, it has been my experience that Republicans don't think the political views of women matter when it comes to relationships. I had a strong reaction to this article when it was posted on a Trump supporter site. I was called ignorant and told that I could never have met a Republican and that everything I wrote was wrong. Puzzled me no end...
Lorelei Cohen from Canada on March 23, 2018:
I so 100% agree with your stance. I did not discuss my husband's political views with him pre-marriage and wish I had. I married a conservative and we have certainly had our battles over it. Now married 11 years I haven't changed in my views but courtesy of my constant fact checking he has become more aware of the political games being played and has fortunately made significant gains in his views. He is definitely much above the lies and bluster of the republican theology. Our marriage is working but I likely would never choose this pathway again. Respect, tolerance, environment, and peace are important words in my vocabulary.
Tessa Schlesinger (author) on March 13, 2018:
Shawn, and other Trump supporters. I have deleted all posts from you. The last one unread. Not interested. Any further posts from Republicans will be deleted unread.
Gordon Hodson on December 19, 2017:
I agree with every word you've written in this article. I just wish there was a solution available that all could agree upon.
Kari Poulsen from Ohio on December 06, 2017:
I used to be a Republican in the early 80's, but I was a kid, what did I know. My parents were Republican and it was how I was raised. Over the years I have come to the opinion that Republicans need a little more empathy and a little less superiority. I could not date a Republican because they just do not believe in helping others. :)