Thank You, Donald Trump

Updated on May 12, 2016

I certainly hope not to dissuade anyone motivated to go out and vote against the possibility of a Trump presidency – but man, did we dodge the Ted Cruz bullet. If Trump somehow wins, and we unleash a police state capable of going door-to-door looking for undocumented brown people, and institute concentration camps for Muslims, then I’ll be proven wrong. But Ted Cruz is the real terror. Ted Cruz is a demagogic fundamentalist maniac.


I started to write of him when elected to the senate in 2012, warning of a modern-day Joe McCarthy. Cruz has done nothing to disappoint. He drips with condescension & flop-sweat. Greasily self-righteous - he is the human embodiment of smarm. Even his biography is repellent.

Born in Canada to a Cuban father, Rafael, who raised young Ted with the moniker of “Chosen One” (and who’s called Obama a Marxist who should go back to Kenya – oh, and he’s an Evangelical preacher). Ted was a National debate champion who graduated cum laude from Princeton and magna cum laude from Harvard Law. He prepared testimony for Bill Clinton's impeachment. He assisted in Bush v Gore in 2000. He argued that there is no Constitutional right to self-pleasure while attempting to ban dildos before the Texas Supreme Court. At a campaign rally, he thoughtfully reassured a 5 year-old girl at a campaign rally, “Yes! Your world is on fire!”


The man inspires universal revulsion. Everyone from his college roommate to Bush 2000 campaign staffers have trashed him. Dubya himself admitted “I just don’t like the guy.” Widely considered the most hated man in congress, revered Republican Sen. Bob Dole said of Cruz, “nobody likes him.” Speaker John Boehner has called him everything from a “false prophet” and “Lucifer in the flesh” to “that jackass” and “miserable son of a bitch.” Senator John McCain called him a “wacko bird” (a label which Cruz embraced).

Cruz called Senate Majority Leader Mitch McConnell a liar on the senate floor. During confirmation hearings, he insinuated that eventual Secretary of Defense Chuck Hagel received hundreds of thousands of dollars from Saudi Arabia and/or North Korea. He laments fellow republicans as squishes. He refers to a Washington cartel.

He calls Obama “the world’s leading financier of radical Islamic terrorism” who “went on a world-wide apology tour” and is “openly desirous to destroy the constitution, and this republic.” He’s blamed the murder of police on Obama’s supposed “attacks from the top down.” In a bit of unintentional irony, Ted read Green Eggs & Ham aloud (“I do like green eggs and ham”) on the senate floor in a petulant fit over the implementation of Obamacare, which dubbed “the nation’s biggest job killer”, and over which Cruz caused a government shutdown.

Ted Cruz believes that communists have overrun Harvard Law. He speaks of leftists and the radical left. He claims that the “overwhelming majority of violent criminals are democrats." He believes that (conservative bogey man) George Soros is behind a global liberal plot called Agenda 21, meant not only to eliminate private property, paved roads, and gold courses – but to round American citizens into concentration FEMA camps. Cruz advanced the Jade Helm 15 conspiracy that the federal government was to invade Texas, Arizona, Utah, and other red states in 2015 (Cruz blamed Obama, saying he “produces fear, produces distrust”).

Ted Cruz claims that “climate change is not science, it’s religion” pushed by "global warming alarmists" and “liberal politicians who want government power.” He says that gun-free zones create a “bunch of targets” and that guns are the “ultimate check against government tyranny.” Ted Cruz is against the legalization of cannabis, calling it a 10th Amendment issue that should be left to the states. He is opposed to net-neutrality, calling it “Obamacare for the internet” which would make the web “run at the speed of government.” He promises to abolish the IRS, and disband its 110k agents (actually 25k; Cruz is an idiot, even checks for payment of his beloved flat-tax would have to be sent somewhere). He is opposed to normalized relations with Cuba. Ted Cruz is engaged in war against the liberal bias of facts: he called Politifact “yellow journalism”, saying “first they came with the fact checkers, we said nothing…”

Cruz called on “100,000 pastors” to “tell the truth” about how Planned Parenthood is “trafficking baby parts”, which he says the DoJ should be investigating. He says that PP should be defunded and ultimately shuttered since there is no shortage of “rubbers.” On the PP shooter: “transgendered leftist activist.” Abortion: “I will do everything in my power to end the scourge of abortion once and for all.” Trans rights: “my 5 year-old knows the difference between boys and girls.” Marriage equality: “very definition of government tyranny” which qualifies practicing Christian faith “as hate speech.”

Ted Cruz says that American Muslim neighborhoods should be monitored and patrolled. On Syrian refugees: “roll the dice…unacceptable risk…they could be jihadis coming to kill” & “utter lunacy.” He has called for more torture of prisoners of war and has promised to carpet bomb the Middle East until we find out if "sand glows in the dark."

In every imaginable way, Ted Cruz is the worst possible candidate for president, and likely the most despicable and abhorrent person in all of American politics. Trump is a wildcard. Ted Cruz would actually do most of the maniacal and idiotic things which we fear of Trump. Consider us lucky. Well, as lucky as can be expected given the likelihood of the oiled-midget wrestling match that is Hillary v Trump. (No offense to little people.)

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.


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    • Alternative Prime profile image

      Alternative Prime 

      4 years ago from > California

      And NOW, Donald Trump himself will save us ALL from a "Trump Presidency" after Losing the ELECTION in a Landslide ~ If of course he can manage to Avoid PRISON from now until November ~


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