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Social Media for Narcissists

Updated on October 8, 2017
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Buzzy Prepares Breakfast

Good Morning, Breakfastpoppers. Today is Sunday, October 8, 2017. Our flying friend, Buzzy, has just returned from an ambitious flight that oversaw all the social media sites. He has come to a conclusion about social media that he would love to share. Buzzy has prepared breakfast for all the poppers this morning. We will be feasting on Ham and Egg Casseroles accompanied by spicy Bloody Marys. We hope to see you soon. Buzzy and I will greet you at the door.

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Social Media isn't Aways Social

Thanks so much for joining me this morning. It goes without saying that most of us and the rest of the world are actively engaged on social media. We accumulate thousands of "friends", and we have become expert at quick one word remarks that satisfy the limited bounds of such "friendships." Personally, I am sick of the whole thing. I took a good, hard long look at the babble on sites like Facebook and I felt embarrassed for all of us. We befriend people we haven't seen in thirty years, and we somehow feel connected, even loved. Nothing much is required of us in terms of real friendship. All we have to do is tell them how pretty and witty they are. We can salivate, or pretend to, when they tell us they are on a cruise or at dinner at a posh restaurant. We croon little sing -song things like, "lucky lady", "gorgeous family" or "breathtaking grandkids." Group photos are a must. We take pictures of our dinner companions and our food. Those who read our feed have to drool over the company and the food. It is all very exhausting, but it is required. It is all part of the dance we are doing to prove to ourselves and our audience that we are popular, relevant, busy, involved and amazing. Like I said, it is all so exhausting and for many it is a full time job.

You are Invited into My Life

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Come Play With Me

Very often we engage our faux friends in games. We can play constantly, but we don't have to actually invite anyone into our homes. We don't have to prepare snacks and drinks or dinner. We can play anytime the mood strikes us, and feel so good about our very unsocial social life. These games make us feel alive and involved. Our cell phones are our lifelines. Without them we are practically friendless, and that is simply unacceptable. When we need help deciding what new car to buy, we can pose the question to our cyber community. 'Does anyone know anything about the new Bentley?" The question is unnecessary in terms of real information, but it lets everyone know how well we are doing. We really aren't bragging, because we pose a question instead of stating a fact, and all is right with the world. Twitter, Facebook, Instagram and Snapchat brought excitement to our lives. We connected with people, however superficial the connection, and we felt loved. The more we tweeted, the more pictures we posed of ourselves, the more involved we became with "us" and our phones replaced actual live people in our lives. Selfies are now the rage. We take overly dramatic pictures of ourselves and post them on social medial. Our "friends" are now required to tell us how pretty or how handsome we are. That's the law in cyber-land, be nice and remember you don't have to mean it. Lately things have changed from the ridiculous to the not so sublime.

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Getting Pretty Ugly

Social media has now entered a new phase. Along with the vacuous chitchat comes vindictive, mean spirited comments about anyone who shares a different point of view. Whether it is about social issues like transgender bathrooms or political issues like President Trump, the air has a definite chill and it is getting icier by the minute. Those of differing political views are now de-friending their one-time good friends who were never really friends at all. There is also a lot of de-friending among actual friends which is a sick aspect of our new way of viewing freedom of expression, namely we are no longer free to express how we feel. Say the wrong thing and your one thousand fake friends will willingly call you a fascist pig. Friendship isn't really so friendly anymore, and this whole social media trend is now becoming a health issue, both mental and otherwise.

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Media Madness

All this posting, posing, tweeting and chatting has turned many of us into electronic slaves. We consult our phones like addicts waiting for our next fix. We don't really care about most of our "friends" but we have a compulsive need to see what they are up to. Of course, they are never up to anything important, but we still have to know. Our life online seems more important than the actual lives we are living. I see whole families gathered around the dinner table at a restaurant glued to their fake on-line family, all the while ignoring their real families. It is time to put down the phones. It is time to stop collecting "friends" we don't know. It is time to stop bashing people who hold differing outlooks on life, love and politics. It is time to start taking photos of sunsets instead of posing like Hollywood actors. It is time to become real again. It's time to invite actual friends over for dinner without posting the event on social media. Time is of the essence, so we really should stop squandering it. In the meantime, I have to go. I want to post this on Facebook!


Buzzy's Song


Fly me to the moon

Where Twitter doesn't live

Our world has grown so stupid

Something simply has to give....

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    • breakfastpop profile image
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      breakfastpop 2 days ago

      Good Morning Dianna,

      "Draining" is the perfect word to describe SM. Have you noticed that most people taking selfies make the same moronic face? In any case, see you at the Inn. Let's leave our devices at home.

    • teaches12345 profile image

      Dianna Mendez 3 days ago

      There are those who take a selfie every other day and then there are those (like myself) who rarely post. I do enjoy browsing the SM sites now and then but find it can be draining. Lots of truth in your thoughts.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 8 days ago

      Good Morning Pino,

      The wine is on me, and I thank you for your words of support. For the record, I would follow you, as well. See you at the Inn.

    • profile image

      Pino Krisio 9 days ago

      Good Afternoon Pop:

      I have never joined any social media sites and I will never do it. What a waste of time. Do you care that I am going to the grocery store? I would not even think to call you to tell you that, so why would I post in on line for everyone to see? How boring everyone must be to have to go into any site to see that I have entered the grocery store!

      Enough of that nonsense.

      With all that said, I go onto your blog as I love your commentaries. I would follow YOU anywhere, but maybe not facebook!

      I am off to the INN. I have earned a gallon or two of wine this week. see you there.....

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 11 days ago

      Dear shanmarie,

      Yes, people really do sit around the table and fiddle with their phones. In fact, I rarely see family and friends talking! Remember when we only had a phone in the house, and could not be reached if we were out? I loved that. Now, if I am trying on clothes in a dressing room, I get a call about nothing. What a pain in the tush! I miss those days, and I miss letters. Remember, those were handwritten thoughts shared by friends and family? We have come a long way, but to me, we are moving in the wrong direction. Thanks so much for coming to the breakfast table.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 11 days ago

      Dear Wesman,

      I hope you have other sources of income, because HP is pathetic when it comes to compensation. Thanks for taking on the NYT and other left wing fake news sites. Somebody has to do it, and I thank you.

    • shanmarie profile image

      shanmarie 11 days ago

      This article should be shared everywhere. That's what I hate about having to self promote something I wrote. The idea of finishing a novel one day and then I'll have to active promote I like a virtual extrovert.

      I can say that I don't have as many FB friends as others, but that I have too many. It seemed like a good idea for networking at one time, bit then I lost interest a few years ago. I don't even notice if someone unfriends me for lack of interaction.

      Now I mostly use FB for family and actual friends. I hardly post a status anymore and when I do, its mostly for the benefit of family since thwy do not live near me. I love to see my cousins and their children and that is the only way I can. Even my nieces live in another state. I don't necessarily distinguish between the two (offline and online friends), but I feel like a friend is more than a mere acquaintance. So FB is nice for family and friends.

      However, I don't generally walk around with my nose in my phone. I'd rather have my nose in a book. LOL. But there's an app for everything now and you can even use the phone to pay for your items at the store rather than pull out a credit card.

      This may sound silly and ignorant, but I don't eat out often and when I am with family or friends FB is not on my mind. . .. do people seriously stay on their phones? I'm all for pictures of time spent together, but if I share then I either post them later and respond to comments later or text them to my parents later. It comes in handy when sending things like a video of a band concert to grandparents, though.

      Anyway, great article. I much prefer one on one even in an online setting. The next best then to in person is a telephone conversation.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 11 days ago

      Dear Lori,

      Not only is it ridiculous to say you have 700 friends, it is also dangerous to reveal so much personal information. People I know go out for the evening to a restaurant for dinner. They take selfies at the restaurant and announce in real time that they are there. Every lunatic in the world can feel free to pay them a visit at home with complete confidence that they won't be interrupted. I realize there are safeguards on sites like FB, but I don't trust them at all. I long for the day when friends were considered to be special people in our lives with whom we had real contact. I also can't stand texting, because it encourages people who really should be talking to dash crave actual human interaction!

    • lambservant profile image

      Lori Colbo 11 days ago from Pacific Northwest

      It's a toxic place. I use facebook in spurts. I take long breaks than go back at it. But honestly, social media has created a culture of superficiality. Several years ago my teenage granddaughter had 700 "friends". I freaked out and wrote her and her mom about it. No one has 700 friends. That means she was putting herself at great risk of unsavory creeps.

      As you said, it also gives us a venue to hide behind a computer and been mean as hell while telling others they are mean and wrong as hell. It's a huge time waster. I've been guilty. I pick my friends carefully so I don't have any toxic people giving me a hard time. But since Trump's presidency, and during the election, all hell has broken loose. People express their disgust with a vulgar, hate speech president, and they do it in vulgar, hate speech. They are justified because they are right.

      Good article as always.

    • Wesman Todd Shaw profile image

      Wesman Todd Shaw 11 days ago from Kaufman, Texas

      The only income I have these days is from good old Hubpages. I don't have a smart phone, and I don't really want one either. I'm mostly sitting on my rump in front of my pc screen all day and evening.

      Which may be driving me a bit mad.

      Anyway, my favorite thing to do is leave the most conservative possible commentary, totally meant to inflame, on the most left wing leaning websites on the world wide web. On Facebook.

      Oh I sometimes get many hundreds of 'likes' from the silent majority, and dozens of hateful replies, which I almost never even bother to look at.

      I love to hit NYT, NPR, things like that. With a sledge hammer, if I'm able at that moment.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 11 days ago

      Good Morning Tom,

      No cell phone? What blasphemy! You are my hero. I loved the days when I left the house and could go about my business without being tracked down by phone. Unless it is an emergency, I never use my cell phone to call anyone. See you at the Inn, Tom. No cell phones allowed, but that's no problem for you.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 11 days ago

      Good Morning AB,

      Social media was always inane, but now it is mean and very, very ugly, as well. A line from Les Miz comes to mind, "You Have No Friends." Thanks so much for coming to the breakfast table.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 11 days ago

      Good Morning Paula,

      No, I never hold back comments, but yesterday even my answer to billy disappeared! I love your commentary. It restores my faith that there are some people out there who stand with me on this issue. I think you should post it on Facebook!!!!! See you at the Inn. I'm buying.

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 12 days ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      pop.....do you hold back comments until you have read & approved them? I posted a somewhat lengthy comment yesterday....??? I hate it when this happens. Where do some of our posts disappear to??

    • fpherj48 profile image

      Paula 12 days ago from Beautiful Upstate New York

      pop & Buzzy...."Social Media," just one more trend/activity, I chose (wisely) from the outset to avoid & "just say NO!" Mainly, I am simply not a crowd follower, never have been and surely never will be. The mere concept of this popular habit/hobby of daily public sharing every aspect, move, word & deed of one's life, left me cold, abhorred & thoroughly disgusted. I do recall privately posing the question, "What the HELL are these pathetic, lonely, BORED people thinking?" Can they possibly truly believe that untold numbers of others are chomping at the bit to know what they do, say, think, engage in with whom, where, when and why? Is this a competition to the finish with celebrities, high profile characters & public figures?

      Are these empty people so needy, insecure & unsuccessful that it's vital they receive attention, recognition and kudos from a vast number of people who otherwise, w/o public announcements, would not ever spend one moment thinking about any of us??

      When something makes absolutely no sense to me, is completely unimpressive & non-productive and at worst, a voluntary relinquishment of any semblance of PRIVACY, my simplest decision is an immediate, "I'll pass on this, Thanks!"

      This personal opinion and attitude follows the same course as my utter refusal to pay an ounce of attention of the INSANE introduction of the self-imposed insult of Political Correctness.

      Call me strange, unyielding, confused, uninformed, rebellious, staunchly independent...whatever you choose. In fact, PLEASE call me all of the above and more. I will smile all the while, as I ask you to move on & find someone else to spew & bombard your nonsense and ludicrous behavior toward.

      When and if I have something of interest or fascination that I choose to "share" with family, friends and loved ones, I assure all, I'll search the archives of ideas and find a personal, private & pleasant way to do this. The main thing is, I'm just not that self-absorbed, to believe my life is so outrageously enviable, it's a must that I make a public announcement, seeking approval, accolades, kudos and continual ego-stroking. Friends, the kindest thing I can possibly pass on to you, is a suggestion you unplug, and just get on with the glorious activity of living life as we have forever & ever... ***Novel idea of the day: Pick up a bouquet & visit a friend you love, whose smiling face & sound of their voice & laughter you have missed for a long time. Peace, Paula

    • abwilliams profile image

      A B Williams 12 days ago from Central Florida

      Many of my former high school classmates 'friended' me in order to save me....from my conservatism, I guess!

      Whatever, it backfired and just like that, the little social click was out of my life once more

      (boo hoo) off to save others.

    • Tom Whitworth profile image

      Tom Whitworth 12 days ago from Moundsville, WV

      Pop and Buzzy,

      I don't know where to start. You have stated my thoughts more clearly than I ever have stated them myself. The cell phone comments are particularly in unison with me. I still don't own one and never will (I did buy a track phone several years ago for power fail conditions but don't use it). I am appalled at hearing of families with $600 monthly phone bills. This is an expensive monkey to carry on one's back.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 12 days ago

      Dear billy,

      I answered your comment and it vanished, so I will try again. I'm not surprised that you agree with me on this issue. You strike me as completely involved and committed to living to have time for idiocy like taking selfies. See you at the Inn.

    • breakfastpop profile image
      Author

      breakfastpop 12 days ago

      Good Afternoon TSAD,

      The selfies are so overly dramatic. Most of the time everyone is making an insane faces. Call me out of touch, but I don't get it! I find there are more narcissists than normal people. They are like bedbugs. See you at the Inn. Leave your cell phone at home!

    • tsadjatko profile image

      TSAD 12 days ago from maybe (the guy or girl) next door

      "biggest pet peeve... taking a selfie, and then feeling compelled to share it with us" ?

      I for one have never experienced anyone doing that to me (of course if you hang with narcissists I supposed it would happen often) but I can think of 100 pet peeves I have that are actually rational...like liberals trivializing important issues by raising meaningless non consequential issues to some sort of position of importance.

    • billybuc profile image

      Bill Holland 12 days ago from Olympia, WA

      You had me howling with the last line.

      Actually, this may be the first of your articles which I totally agree with.

      My biggest pet peeve...those who cannot get through the day without taking a selfie, and then feeling compelled to share it with us. It strikes me as the ultimate act of the self-absorbed, but perhaps it is simply a cry of insecurity. Whatever the case may be, my mug is too ugly to be sharing online daily. :)