Deborah is a writer, healer, and teacher. Her goal is to help people live their best lives every day by sharing her joy and love of life.
There Should Be No Debate
The Debate Rages On
From the beginning of humanity, women have carried life in their bodies and borne children from within themselves and into the world.
Much of the time, we participate willingly in the process. Sometimes we are reluctant. There are times when a woman refuses to carry a child. The reasons vary. Perhaps she was raped. Maybe she's getting divorced. She could be ill. And sometimes, for no apparent reason, she makes a very personal decision.
At some point, along this personal and private journey, a man enters the story. He might be the man who donated the sperm necessary to create the child. He could be the father of the woman, in whose womb the child grows. Maybe he's her pastor, her teacher or her friend.
He offers compassion. He gives advice. He warns her to listen. He threatens. He cajoles.
At the end, he decides. He tells her what she must do with the child growing inside her body. The woman must listen and do as she's told.
At the end of the day, the abortion debate is not a debate. It is not a discussion. It is a fear-based demand that someone listen.
What Can You Control?
The Fear of Losing Control
People want control. We want to control ourselves. We want to control others. We fear losing our control.
Fear drives most bad decisions. Decisions made from a place of love aren't based on fear. They aren't based on control. When you make a decision or a statement or take an action based on love, you feel peaceful. Knowing that you only control yourself, you release the outcome and allow love to inform your decisions.
How Many Babies Can You Make?
The Issue Isn't the Issue
The issue of abortion rights is not the issue. The issue of freedom of choice is not the issue. The issue of sanctity of life is not the issue. The issue is control. Actually, the issue is fear. People fear losing control.
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If the issue were about the right to have an abortion, there would be no argument. Abortion is a medical procedure that removes cells from a woman's body. A pregnant woman decides what she does with her body. No argument. Right, wrong or indifferent. It only becomes an issue when someone else wants to control what a pregnant woman can and can't choose to do with her own body.
If the issue were about freedom of choice, there would be no argument. Each person is sovereign and can decide what to do with their body and their life. Unless and until the decision impacts you directly, it is none of your business. Every person on this planet is free to choose their own course of action.
As I've told my children, and as you probably know, you are not free to choose the outcome. Once you make a decision and choose an action, the consequences of that action are often out of your hands. It's all part of the decision-making process. We each control our own actions, for better or worse, regardless of what anyone thinks.
If the abortion issue were about the sanctity of life, there would be no discussion. There cannot be a discussion about the value of life until every life is valued equally. There cannot be a discussion about the value of life while weapons of mass destruction are still in use. There cannot be a discussion about the value of life when government sanctions the killing of people. You cannot argue for the sanctity of life unless you are willing to value every life.
The value of life is inherent in being alive. It is not based on what you did, what you might do, what you could do. The value of life is that every human is valuable. It does not matter what you think about your neighbor, or the guy living in a box under the bridge, or what you think about the millionaire up the street. It doesn't matter what you think about the pregnant teenaged girl who carries a toddler on her hip. Each and every one of those lives has value. If you argue that one is more valuable than another, that is your opinion. It is not a fact. Life is valuable. Governments sanction the loss of life every day. It's not better or worse. It just is.
The issue, at its very heart, is fear. People fear. What we fear, we hate. We don't want to face our fears, because of how we might look. We don't want to face our fears because of how we might feel. We don't want to face our fears because we don't want to lose what we think we have. We hate feeling this way and we hate our fear.
What if we decided to choose love, instead of fear?
At the end of the day, the abortion debate will continue as long as women get pregnant.
Women will find a way.
You Can't Control Anyone Other Than Yourself
This content is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and is not meant to substitute for formal and individualized advice from a qualified professional.
© 2022 Deborah Demander