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Men in Bras: Accepting the Way We Are

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To Bra or Not to Bra: A Question of Acceptance

When one has rather large man boobs, the question is: "to bra or not to bra." I have read a number of well written blogs on this site on the subject of men who like to wear bras. I have read on many other sites about men who wish to rid themselves of their man boobs. The Internet abounds with proposed solutions for gynecomastia, yet whilst reading this info one sees ads for methods for men to develop breasts for transvestite or transsexual reasons. So far I have nowhere seen anything on just accepting the way one is. Is any happy just as they are?

Why am I writing this? Because men in bras is a subject close to home. I was born a boy and brought up as such, but at 12 years old my breasts started to develop and I retained a smooth face till the age of 25, when due to repeated shaving a beard developed. So I was a mix between two states; not good in a bipolar society, one should be only one or the other. But is not the same all around the world; there are some cultures where it is OK to be different.

People Who Do Not Fit in One Box or the Other

I saw a National Geographic video recently about Samoa. Perhaps 1-5% of people from Samoa identify as a third sex, Fa'afafine. Sometimes a family will designate a male child to be raised as a girl. Since they are raised as girls they are accepted as girls. They are physically men, but they are accepted as women because they look and act like women, so when they have sex with men, it's not considered homosexual. And in Thailand there are the now famous kathoey, historically a term for a kind of third sex.

I get uptight every time i have to fill out a form and you have to tick those boxes "Male or Female" with nothing in between. Why do we have to be pushed into these two categories only, when a lot of people are in between. In North America there are the: "Two-Spirit" (also two spirit or twospirit) people are American Indians who fulfill one of many mixed gender roles found traditionally among many American Indian and Canadian First Nations indigenous groups.

In the examples given above these people are socially accepted although they could not tick the male or female box only.


I did have a girlfriend once who accepted me wearing bras and found it fun, but this was different to some one who gets a kick out of putting on a bra stuffed with tissues, as I had something to fill those C+ cups. Recently when I did a 40 day fast and became 17 kg lighter, I sure needed a bra to stop my now-drooping breasts from wobbling around and hitting men in the eye when i went for a run.

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The problem is that we do not live in a vacuum, so to be able to accept our selves we need the people around to be more tolerant. I'd like to go down to the beach and take my top off without everyone staring, which no longer bothers me but gets my girlfriend's ire up, and my 8 yrs old son did not want to accompany me to the beach because he is embarrassed about my boobs.

I was helped to accept myself as I am when I googled "hermaphrodite images" and I found photos of ancient statues with breasts and a male sex, and I thought in those times not only were such creatures evidently accepted but possibly revered enough to make a statue, cos making a statue is a whole lot of work.

Hermaphrodite Statue

Hermaphrodite Statue

So now that I have decided to accept the way I am, and often do wear a bra, I still cannot wear it all the time though it makes life more comfortable. I still feel the need to wear a loose jacket to be able to cover up if I meet someone that I know.

The first road to happiness is to just accept yourself, love yourself the way you are. As Sondra Ray says in her book The Only Diet There Is:

If you love your body it will cooperate with your mind. If you say I don't like my body," then your body must do whatever you DON'T want it to do in order to please you!

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

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