Where Does God Want Me to Pee? or the Horrors of Being Born a Hermaphrodite in America.

Updated on June 23, 2019
From my Brain profile image

I was Born a hermaphrodite and surgically assigned gender without my knowledge or consent.

Warning Stop Now!

This is a honest and factual blog about a medical condition dealing with genitalia. If you are squeamish or easily disturbed you really should read another blog. I talk about surgeries in terms you may find disturbing. You have been warned and if you keep reading it is your own fault if you cant get this out of your head.

Also about comments: Because this post is about genitalia I will delete any sexual suggestive comments the moment I see them. If you see one I missed please feel free to let me know.

I was Born with Both a Penis and a Vagina.

Even though I was born a hermaphrodite you could say I was Transgender or Sans-Gender if that helps. I didn't know until I was almost 50 years old that I was born with a vagina. If you stick with me I will explain the medical side of things as well as how my parents denial of my condition made my life way more difficult than it needed to be.

So how do you get to fifty before finding out that you were born with a vagina? That's a damn good question. The day I was born my parents decided that I would be a boy and no one would ever speak of it ever no matter what. I don't think my parents were in agreement with each other about what sex I should be because they were divorced a month after I was born. I may not be the reason they got divorced but I sure didn't bring them any closer together.

I was raised by my mother and when ever I asked about by condition she simply said I was born with a hole and they needed to close it up. When I asked my father he would not speak of it not even enough to admit that I had surgery the day I was born.

My mothers vague description of my situation made it easy to ignore the actual facts. I have memories of surgeries when I was a child and all I was told was that they were trying to get my urethra to reach the bottom of the head of my penis so I could pee out of one hole and not several like I was doing.

The reality of the situation was far more horrifying, embarrassing and mind bending then I ever thought possible. I was born with Severe hypospadias with micropenis. http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pubmed/17364457

Ambiguous genitalia is a birth defect in which the outer genitals do not have the typical appearance of either a boy or a girl.

Ambiguous genitalia may be a result of a disorder of sexual development (DSD), previously called intersex conditions. The ability to diagnose these conditions has improved greatly in recent years, due to advances in molecular genetics. Prompt, accurate diagnosis and counseling about therapeutic options should be available to parents soon after the baby's birth.

It used to be thought that early gender assignment was vital to help social and psychological development. Recent research has challenged this thinking, as gender identity development probably begins in uteri, so reconstructive surgery may now be deferred until psychological and social implications can be considered. Evidence about long-term outcomes for people with DSD who undergo gender assignment and reconstructive surgery is still lacking.This has particular implications in the situation where parents are demanding early reassignment surgery for a child with DSD. http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ambiguous-genitalia/basics/definition/con-20026345

Differentiation of external genitalia. The external genitalia of males and females are identical in the first seven weeks of gestation:

  • In males, from seven weeks, active differentiation towards the male phenotype occurs moderated by testosterone and its conversion to dihydrotestosterone (DHT) by 5-alpha reductase (present in the cells of external genitalia and urogenital sinus). Genital tubercle becomes glans. Fusion of urethral folds and groove forms the shaft of the penis. Labioscrotal swellings fuse and enlarge to become scrotum.
  • In the female, genital tubercle becomes the clitoris, labioscrotal swellings the labia majora

I don't mean to throw a bunch of science at you but when I tell people about my situation they are filled with doubt.

One more set of numbers to throw at you and then I will explain how I found out that I was born with both a penis and a vagina.

Hypospadias (urethral opening in perineum or along penile shaft) one in 2,000 births

Hypospadias (urethral opening between corona and tip of glans penis)one in 770 births

You see I am not that unique. http://www.isna.org/faq/frequency Even though I had one of the more rare type of hypospadis the condition Hypospadis is a growing problem here in the US and around the world.

Hypospadias occurs in approximately 1 in every 250 male births in the United States. The incidence doubled from 1970 to 1993. Although some have suggested that this doubling actually reflects increased reporting of minor grades of hypospadias, increases in severe hypospadias have also been noted. Increasing sensitivity of surveillance systems alone cannot explain this twofold increase. However, some reports have linked the increased rate of hypospadias in boys born prematurely and small for gestational age and boys with low birth weight.


In several countries, the incidence of hypospadias may be rising. In general, the frequency seems rather constant, at 0.26 per 1000 live births in Mexico and Scandinavia and 2.11 per 1000 live births in Hungary. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1015227-overview#a6

Several Situations Fall Under The Intersex Umberella

How Common is Intersex?

How common is intersex?

To answer this question in an uncontroversial way, you’d have to first get everyone to agree on what counts as intersex —and also to agree on what should count as strictly male or strictly female. That’s hard to do. How small does a penis have to be before it counts as intersex? Do you count “sex chromosome” anomalies as intersex if there’s no apparent external sexual ambiguity?1 (Alice Dreger explores this question in greater depth in her book Hermaphrodites and the Medical Invention of Sex.)

Here’s what we do know: If you ask experts at medical centers how often a child is born so noticeably atypical in terms of genitalia that a specialist in sex differentiation is called in, the number comes out to about 1 in 1500 to 1 in 2000 births. But a lot more people than that are born with subtler forms of sex anatomy variations, some of which won’t show up until later in life.

Below I provide a summary of statistics drawn from an article by Brown University researcher Anne Fausto-Sterling.2 The basis for that article was an extensive review of the medical literature from 1955 to 1998 aimed at producing numeric estimates for the frequency of sex variations. Note that the frequency of some of these conditions, such as congenital adrenal hyperplasia, differs for different populations. These statistics are approximations.

Not XX and not XYone in 1,666 birthsKlinefelter (XXY)one in 1,000 births

Androgen insensitivity syndrome one in 13,000 births

Partial androgen insensitivity syndrome one in 130,000 births

Classical congenital adrenal hyperplasia one in 13,000 births

Late onset adrenal hyperplasia one in 66

individualsVaginal agenesis one in 6,000 births

Ovotestesone in 83,000 births

Idiopathic (no discernable medical cause)one in 110,000 births

Iatrogenic (caused by medical treatment, for instance progestin administered to pregnant mother)no estimate

5 alpha reductase deficiencyno estimate Mixed

gonadal dysgenesisno estimateComplete gonadal dysgenesis one in 150,000 births

Hypospadias (urethral opening in perineum or along penile shaft)one in 2,000 births

Hypospadias (urethral opening between corona and tip of glans penis)one in 770 births

Total number of people whose bodies differ from standard male or female one in 100 births

Total number of people receiving surgery to “normalize” genital appearance one or two in 1,000 births

This is What They do at Stage Two.

This should give you an idea of how they made me a boy.
This should give you an idea of how they made me a boy.

I'm Sorry I was Born with a What?

Like I said before I didn't know that I was not born a proper man until I was in my fifties. I knew I was not well endowed but I did not know that enhancements had been made to make me as big as I was. All my life I had done as many stupid things as possible in an effort to prove I was a man because many people saw me as a bit feminine. But I had no idea how feminine I was.

From the time I started having problems too the time I found out I was born with a vagina took twenty years . It all started in my late twenty's when I started having pain in every muscle of my body all at the same time. When it started it wasn't that bad I described it as a shadow of pain that sort of felt like the day after a good workout except without the workout. Over time it got worse. It got so bad the doctors were giving me morphine and telling me that I had less than three months to live. it got this bad on two different occasions over the twenty years.

Doctor after doctor test after test and one specialist after another nobody could tell me why I was getting sick or why when it seemed most bleak that I recovered enough I could be a productive member of society again. The doctors were baffled and so was I but the one thing I was sure of was that I would never detox from Oxy-Contin or morphine again I refused to take the pain killers five years ago and have not looked back since. I am not going to say there haven't been days that if there was on in the cabinet I wouldn't have taken it. .

To make a twenty year story short I was still in pain and wanted to know why. In the end my doctors and I had to scrap everything that we thought we knew and start over. That's when we started following the scars. When we looked at the genital which is where we started because that's was my first medical situation, there were scars that could only be explained by one thing, Extreme Hypospadis with micro penis.

I was a bit stunned and need time to digest the information and no medical care was sought or provided for the next several months other than a refill for my Thyroid prescription.

The most difficult thing to get my mind to stop thinking about was the what if. Don't get me wrong, even though my life has been a train wreck I wouldn't trade it for anything. But what if I had know this earlier in life, what if when I asked for Figure skates I wasn't given Hockey skates instead, what if I was meant to be a girl all along and I have been a cross-dressing all my life?

I Needed to Know all there was about Ambiguous Gender.

A lot of people will think this is a sexual thing but it isn't at least not to me anyway. I was over Twenty one when I lost my virginity and I know the name of everyone I have had sex with in my entire life.

I am married and have a child. Even though I was told that because of where liquids left my body that there was no way possible I could be a father without making a sperm donation and having it implanted in a woman.

Sex never has been important to me and still to this day I would rather engage you in a two hour conversation than jump your bones.

After not seeing the doctors for a few months and reading everything written about Extreme Hypospadis. I felt I knew all there was to know.

Considering I had my surgeries more than 50 years ago there is very little information to read. There was only two actual study's where they followed up on patients to see if they made the right choice and they don't agree.

Researchers at the Johns Hopkins Hospital tracked the development of 27 male children born with genital anomalies, 25 of whom had undergone sex reassignment at birth. Surgeons find it easier to assign the child as a girl, construct an opening, and remove enlarged clitoral tissue, than to try to enlarge, reshape, or even create a functional penis. The 25 children who were raised as girls all exhibited male characteristics, which caused an identity crisis and, ultimately, psychological distress. However, the two children who were raised as boys were better adjusted psychologically than the reassigned children were. These baby boys should not have undergone a sex reassignment because of their abnormal genitalia. Instead of allowing the individuals to have the option of surgery, the doctors chose the easiest reconstructive surgery, which was to create a vagina. What was an easy process for doctors, became a long and difficult process for the child. Children who do not identify with their assigned sex can have profound psycho sexual developmental delays and deficits, and eventually the kinds of normal encounters with the opposite sex, including dating, are delayed or absent among them (Scheck, 2001). Dr. John Money, on the other hand, in a study of 105 intersex children and d genitalia of babies should be altered in order for them to adjust psychologically into one gender or another, but a sex reassignment performed too early can damage a child adults, claimed to have found that more than 95 percent of them fared equally well psychologically, whether they had been raised as boys or girls. Many psychologists feel that it is psychologically better to operate when the child is younger, and that the individual who is not operated on will have problems in society. However,
there has never been any reliable empirical evidence linking genital surgery to better outcomes. If anything, patient forums have documented severe psychological distress among some of their members (Zucker, 2002). Many doctors feel that the ambiguous or malformedevelopmentally. Urological surgeons have been heavily criticized for early intervention in these children. For a child to grow up identifying with one gender, yet being forced into another, will without a doubt be psychologically damaging to that child, which is why irreversible gender assignment should be delayed until doctors and parents know more about the child’s interests

after reading the mole hill of information and being the curious person I am I decided to try a small harmless experiment on my self. I started taking over the counter post menopause medication. I thought maybe my body has been fighting with its self trying to be female. After all no one knows everything about the human body.

There was some vague connections that if you are open minded and desperate for answers it might cause on to think my body was having Estrogen problems. for example the first time the pain got to the point I agreed to take painkillers was not long after my son was born and by the time he was going into kindergarten I was bed ridden and being told I was going to die for the first time.

By day three of taking the over the counter post menopause medication my pain went from a steady six or seven to a one or two on the doctors office pain chart.

I am A Boy or a Girl?

So what bathroom did God want me to use?

See results

Hormones Right or Wrong?

Is it morally wrong to take hormones to changes ones Gender appearance?

See results

Where do I go from Here?

When I first found out I was born with female genitalia I wondered what I would look like as a woman. I went and got a wig and borrowed a dress and found out something very interesting about myself.

If I want to look like a girl I have to relax. That probably sounds easy to most people but when I was at my mothers side the day she died she told me that her dying wish for me is that I would one day relax.

Funny part is that every time I relax I feel her slapping me in the back of the head and telling me not to stand like that. I cant tell you how many times I was corrected for swinging my arms to much when I was walking or leaning against a wall with my hip cocked or all the teasing I got for crying at the Sunday Disney movies. So not only did she make efforts to make sure I didn't get involved in feminine sports like figure skating she conditioned me into acting like a boy.

As a quick note my mother was a violent alcoholic who would be in jail if she did the same things now as she did then. That aside we had a long talk and said what needed to be said (or so I thought.) and I forgave her. We had been friends for several years before she passed away from alcoholism.

Here I am faced with the reality that if I relax I look very feminine. Kinda explains all those conversations that ended with "Your not gay? Are you sure?" I was actually relaxed and having a good time so people thought I was gay. I see the feminine ways I do things much more now. Just the way I hold a cigarette or drink from a glass and the way I have always crossed my right leg over the top of my other leg when I am sitting. kinda scary how I could be so feminine and not even realize it.

I am trying to relax more and except the posture that comes with it. One of the problems I have with this is that when I had all the toes on my right foot amputated at the age of 16 I had to teach my self how to walk all over again. I taught myself the most manly walk I could at the time.

You see when I got my toes cut off the doctors told me I would never walk again and they refused to give me physical therapy that might give me false hope. I did all my own rehab at home by myself all the while realizing that doctors are not as smart as people would like to believe.

Great now I have to learn how to walk for the third time in my life and this time I have to learn to relax and walk at the same time. I guess the good part of not having toes is that I cant wear high heals so that will never be an issue.

The most amazing part to me anyway, came from my sitting standing and trying to walk more like a woman my back stopped hurting all the time, my digestion got better and my endless gas seemed to have an end after all. I felt better and I started losing weight. only like five or ten pounds but I lost weight that stayed off. My hip doesn't hurt and sitting with my leg crossed over the top of my other leg like a woman is the absolutely most comfortable position I can sit in. except for the fact I feel like a fraud sitting, walking and standing like a woman. Catch 22 much?

That and a few other thing led me to believe that maybe my parents made the wrong decision when they decided I should be a boy. But I am not going to make this my mental rehab page. I moved out of my parents house when I was seventeen and vowed to my self that I knew the difference between right and wrong and knew what happened the last seventeen years was wrong and I can not blame my parents for anything I do from that day forward.

Then came the post menopausal experiment. I started taking the over the counter pills and my pain went from a daily seven on the 1-10 scale to a two. I noticed the difference in the first few days but I was skeptical. Because more than once the doctors gave me some new pills and I would want it to work so bad it does. It works well for awhile then the placebo effect wears off about two weeks after starting the new prescription.

Three weeks in to it and I am filling fine so I decide there is something to this. I called and set a doctors appointment an finished taking the rest of the pills in the package. When I stopped taking the pills the pain came back within 48 hours and either I became a wimp or my pain was making up for lost time but the pain was worse than before I started taking the pills.

I went to my doctors appointment and told her everything I knew on the subject and how I tried this experiment. The doctor says there is no reason why post menopausal medication should help with my pain and there is no reason it shouldn't. They recommended that I keep taking the pills. They said if it works for your pain and keeps you from needing prescription pain killers than go for it.

I started taking the pills again. This time it took almost a full week to feel any benefit from the pills but I have been virtually pain free and will keep taking them for as long as needed at this point. Even though it doesn't make since it works and I am going for it.

I did straight up ask them if I might be losing my mind and if they recommended mental health or not. they said I seem to be just fine mentally and recommended that I did not need to see a mental health doctor unless I felt I need one.

Now today I take the pills and feel much better all the pain is not gone but it is back to the days when it was a shadow of pain. I still can't relax without making an effort but I am getting better. I am still getting over the odd looks I get when I walk around like a woman in mans clothes.

I now know why I have never relaxed and might actually be able to fulfill my mothers dying wish. But that might take walking around in girls clothes to avoid the odd looks. Then I get back to the original question. What bathroom should I use?


    0 of 8192 characters used
    Post Comment
    • profile image

      To Explain the 101 Percentage 

      2 years ago

      Some Polls round up results so you most have likely have several X.6's or higher that cause the discrepancy. You would have to not round the numbers to fix it.

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado


      I agree it would be nice to know these things but do to the genetic test costing three to five thousand dollars an insurance unwilling to pay for it, because they say it is not medically necessary. I may never know for sure. Because my parents did not want me to know they have distroyed my medical records but I am being treated as if I had a Hysterectomy and my health is far better because of it. Yes I did have testies but I was told there was no way in the world I would get a woman pregnant without artificial inseminaton. Suprised!

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      I would have liked some more information than "you were born with a vagina", like did you have a uterus and ovaries also. And since you appear to have fathered a child I assume you did have testicles and a prostate gland. I myself have firs degree hypospadius which required no correction, but one of my sons had 3rd degree, with opening at the base. Also would have been good to know if you were XY genotype.

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado


      Give your parents a hug for me. They are truly unique.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      That was an amazing read. Thank you for sharing your experience and lots of good info. I'm intersex also and my parents wanted me to make the decision for myself as I got older. Its not easy to tell what the person is or want to be at birth. Don't rush them and let them learn their selves first and they will decide. I'm glad my parents didn't mess with MY BODY. I believe only that person has that right to change, not anybody else's.

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado

      Not being a programmer I have no idea how there is 101% but I will ask the folks at Soapboxie if they can fix it. Kinda odd isn't it? Thanks for for King words and sharp eye.

    • profile image

      Lisa V-Corpus Christi 

      3 years ago

      Thank you for your life experience. I strongly advocate for more education and social awareness to transgender issues. The only concern that i have is that the first vote that you offered us has a 101 percentage point. There must be a miscalculation somewhere. Will you please explain this anomily. It is very important that if we educate, we do so with sold facts andf figuers. Thank you agian for your work.

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado

      Mariah-Lee It is awesome to hear that not all parents feel they need to make the choice for their child. Even better that you are excepting of the differences that are natural. I also find it amazing how well they have made over 6 Million Americans invisible. Still to this day I have not read one single story of an Intersex/Ambiguous gender child going to public school in the last 60 years. Thank you for your kind response.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      My ex partner was born with severe hypospadias and the parents decided to allow him to choose whether he wanted to be fe ale or male and he chose to be male. I was shocked at first to see what was down there but then realised that there was nothing wrong with it and was just different that's all it was. Yes there were 2 urethral openings and had a vaginal wall and a penis where the clitoris would normally be and I was so surprises to learn that his parents allowed him to decide what he wanTed. It's amazing to see some more info about this condition. I myself am a trans woman and find it hard having my genitalia but to have hypospadias would just be damn near horrible. Much love to you for sharing this article it means alot

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado

      Crazy that they can give hormones to an 11 year old child and not tell them. They might have given me testosterone but I am not sure. I had to take a pill everyday prior to puberty. I have tried to look up what my mother said it was and there is no such thing now or ever.

      I am not to hung up on pronouns, my son will always call me dad and to be honest I have had so many nick names and been called just about everything under the sun so names and words to trigger me much.

      It makes one look at themself from a different lense. Suddenly all the crap in your brain becomes a tangible reality and all the reasons you suppressed it become lies that were told to you. People that were surgically assigned gender have been put in mental hospitals because they were "Gay" by the very people that incorrectly decided their gender.

      There are many many different ways to be born with ambigous gender. But if you only look at one reason at a time you don't have to see the millions of children being surgically mulated because they are not one or the other. Seeing how half the people who had this surgery don't know they had this surgery it would be very difficult to get real numbers on how often they got it correct or NOT.

    • Rho Rho profile image

      Rho Rho 

      3 years ago

      That is an amazing story, thanks for sharing Jeff.

      I was also born intersex, but it took longer for everyone to actually notice (about a year or two). I discovered about it only when I was 16 and, for me, that was too long, hahaha. Can't imagine how it was for you...

      I was also operated as a child, and even though it was very minor, I still wish they could have left me alone. I mean, common, it was my genitals...

      I also had my gonadas removed as a baby, since they were not formed properly, and I began hormone therapy with E when I was 11. I wonder why people always assumed I was a girl... to the point to actually hormonize me without my knolowedge.

      Long story short? Gender issues. I'm trying to pinpoit how, exactly. I feel like I stood in between both genders, most of the time, but my native language sucks with genderless pronous.

      It's a big blow to our identity, right? That's why it's so important for intersex kids to know they are actually intersex. And, gods, why can't they just stop operating babies? Sometimes the doctors seems so afraid of sexual differences...

      As for which bathroom you should use, it's the one you feel most comfortable doing so. If it's both, use the one that is empty! :)

      Also, didn't knew there was no data on Mixed Gonadal Dysgenesis. That's the one that happened to me!

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado


      First of all cheers to you for not making this decision the day Your child was born. You'd would be amazed how many people have made that choice on day one.

      As long at it is not a medical necessity I would wait and let the child decide.

      As for myself and please understand I can only speak for myself because I am the only person with ambigous gender that I know that was made a boy. I only know a handful of others that were surgically assigned gender after they were made girls.

      Most are made girls because they are several follow up surgeries required when making a boy. IE: leaking. After 7 follow up surgeries I still have that problem. That said most the female assigned people did have to have a surgery to have the testies removed at or around puberty.

      Disclaimer done I wish they would have left me alone.

      But more than that I wish they would have told me.

      I went through twenty years of extream pain because my body was rejecting it's current configuration. After twenty years I learned about my situation when I was born and the pain that had doctors predict my death 3 times was controlled by post menopause herbs.

      If I had been told in the beginning it might not have taken twenty years.

      But it's deeper than that and a situation I am still figuring out this very day.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Hi! I found your story fascinating. Thanks for sharing. I had a few questions if you don't mind! I ask because I recently had a baby who was diagnosed with 46 XY DSD. (We actually found out just a couple of days ago that he has an incredibly rare syndrome called Denys Drash that affects his kidneys as well due to a mutation of the WT1 gene) When he was born, they couldn't tell if he was boy or girl from his genitalia. So they had to do some tests to check his chromosomes. He also has severe penoscrotal hypospadias. And since his testes are yet to be found, his scrotum looks more like enlarged labia. They tested his testosterone levels and they're decent, so we know they're in there somewhere.

      I'm wondering if even though his chromosomes are all male and there's no trace of female organs and he's putting out testosterone, is it still likely he'll feel confusion when it comes to gender just because we repair his hypospadias? I feel like his situation is somewhat similar to yours, so it's really nice to get an opinion from an actual person that can empathize rather than doctors or Google.

      Would you have rather they did not correct your hypospadias? Or do you wish that they were just more open about it with you? Did the knowledge of your repair make you more confused about your gender? I guess I didn't really understand if you feel like you were meant to be female or if you are ok with being a more feminine male. And does the femininity come from lack of testosterone or something else? (I apologize if im not asking these question in the correct way and that they are not offensive. This is all very new to us!) We plan on doing his repair because he is all male and so we see it more as repairing his penis rather than gender assignment. (If he had any female parts or organs as well as male, we would definitely hold off) But we plan to be completely open with our son and we will support whatever decisions he makes on gender in the future.

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado

      Sounds like we are opposite sides of the same coin. The hardest part is finding out late in life. Messes with your head a lot.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Hey there, I just read your blog and have to say that sounds like quite an experience of self discovery.

      It's inspirational to me because I'm FTM transgender and even though it's quite different from your story it still gives me some hope that eventually I can be who I was supposed to be.

      I'm trying to socially transition now and the hardest part is constantly reminding friends and family to used the right pronouns. I'll hopefully start Testosterone this fall even though I pass as male in public.

      I can definitely understand to an extent the need for answers and understanding of a condition you never asked for and it's sad when doctors decide to do surgeries on an infant when that infant doesn't have a choice.

      I've had depression all my life (27 years) simply because I always felt so strongly that I should be a boy but was forced to live as a girl. I never understood why I was so angry and sad all the time but now that I know what it is and am lined up to see an endocrinologist this fall I feel less helpless.

      I'm still confused about things though, like why is my voice already so deep and I've never had a female body shape. I've always had narrower hips, slightly wider shoulders, next to no breasts and a more angular face shape. That said, I'm glad of those things but still trying to do as much reading and research as possible to see if I can learn more about myself.

      Thank you for sharing your story!

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado

      Now I know most of you think that I am unique and wonder how far did they have to look to find this freak of nature. But that's ok because I really like math.

      There are many different ways to be born with ambiguous gender but no single cause has been determined.

      According to the Mayo Clinic http://www.mayoclinic.org/diseases-conditions/ambi... Some of the situations that cause a child to be born with ambiguous gender are:

      Congenital Adrenal Hyperplasia that effects 1-13,000 children born.

      Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome that effects 1-13,000 children. Klinefelter's that effects 1-1,000 children

      Hypospadias that effect 1-777 children

      Late Onset Adrenal Hyperplasia that effect 1-66 children born in America today. Just to name a few. In Total the number of people whose body's differ from male or female when they are born is 1-100 live births in The United States today.

      Still when you get right down to it this does only effect 1.7% of the population. http://emedicine.medscape.com/article/1015227-over...

      according to to Census dot gov Americas population is 323 million people.

      1.7% of that is 5 Million 493 Thousand.

      So of the 323 plus million Americans alive today only 5 and a half million were surgically assigned gender after they were born.

      Then take in account half of those five and a half million people are like me and don't even know they were born with both genders.

      I find it hard to believe that nearly three million Americans were surgically assigned gender after they were born And don't even know it.

      But it's true in fact I was one of them.

      Now let's take this one step further. What if they got it wrong when they assigned gender to the 2 million 746 Thousand Americans that don't know they were surgically assigned gender. like they did in my case.

      Let's say they got it right 75% of the time and only got it wrong 25% of the time. We have to assume they got it correct because no one has done a study to to find out if they got it right or not.

      If they did get it wrong 25% of the time. That leaves 686,720 Americans that were assigned a gender that they disagree with and don't even know their gender was surgically assigned after they were born.

      Or in other words over 500,000 Americans being told they are mentally ill because no one ever told them that their gender was surgically assigned after they were born even though no one ever asked them what gender they wanted to be.

    • profile image

      Alice Severson 

      3 years ago

      Very informative article. Your situation is unique. And whatever you had to do to become what your DNA says you are, is ok with me. The problem today, is not people like you, but, people who THINK they are like you.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      I think this was a very brave thing to write. It needs to be talked about more. People don't fit into neat little boxes, and gender assignment (or reassignment) should always be the choice of that individual. Parents and doctors should wait and let the child decide. Thank you for sharing your story.

    • savvydating profile image


      3 years ago

      I have no idea how you popped up, but I must say that this is the 2nd article of yours I have read within the space of 20 minutes. Now I am going to read a 3rd. As for which bathroom? I'd go with what ever you're wearing that day.

      But seriously, one of the reasons the transgender issue has come up in middle and high school has been due to girls going into boys locker rooms---from actual accounts I have read.

    • profile image


      3 years ago

      Jeff: I have a younger sister married to a woman that has surgically made her self a man as much as she can.

      Im sorry for your difficulties. You have been more than kind to. myself and my disoriented dog, Georgia.

      That is all I can say.


    • profile image

      Donna Sevey 

      3 years ago

      Jeff ,Thanks so much for sharing your story ..I find it very educational to all that don't really understand the topic .

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado


      Thank you so much for your kind words.

      Please share my blog far and wide because I can't think of a single person that shouldn't read this.

      I do have a very strong bond with God and as I have learned over the years God will sometimes put you through hard times for the benefit of others.

      Thanks again,


    • MsDora profile image

      Dora Weithers 

      3 years ago from The Caribbean

      Jeffrey, I respect you highly. You have given your readers an education that we would not get otherwise. I am recommending this read to some of my friends who think they know everything there is to know about transgendering although they have no clue about a situation like yours.

      Thank you for your openness in sharing your story. You've been very wise and strong. My prayer for you is that you continue to adjust and heal as you share. The fact that you're asking God where to pee means that you recognize His sovereignty. Please continue to seek His guidance going forward. You haven't had an easy travel, but I pray for you a safe landing.

    • profile image

      Stacey Ford 

      3 years ago

      This has me in amazement!! Thank you for Sharing! I just love you so much!!!

    • From my Brain profile imageAUTHOR

      Jeffrey A Benedict 

      3 years ago from Colorado


      Thank you for your support.

      I am happy to answer any questions you have.


    • fpherj48 profile image


      3 years ago from Carson City

      I'm surprised there isn't a single comment for your hub. It is certainly very fascinating and informational. Most importantly, it seems to me that this topic is not one that too many people know much about at all. I admit, I certainly didn't. I so appreciate your openness and candidness. Thank you for sharing this with your readers.

      As I read, my mind registered a couple dozen questions to ask you. However, I've decided to read your other hubs to see if some of the answers may appear in them. Then if need be I will return here to ask you to help me understand a bit more.

      I commend you Jeffery, for your courage & ability to approach your situation with determination, self-education, experiments and a mature, reasonable attitude. I look forward to reading more of your work. Peace, Paula


    This website uses cookies

    As a user in the EEA, your approval is needed on a few things. To provide a better website experience, soapboxie.com uses cookies (and other similar technologies) and may collect, process, and share personal data. Please choose which areas of our service you consent to our doing so.

    For more information on managing or withdrawing consents and how we handle data, visit our Privacy Policy at: https://maven.io/company/pages/privacy

    Show Details
    HubPages Device IDThis is used to identify particular browsers or devices when the access the service, and is used for security reasons.
    LoginThis is necessary to sign in to the HubPages Service.
    Google RecaptchaThis is used to prevent bots and spam. (Privacy Policy)
    AkismetThis is used to detect comment spam. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide data on traffic to our website, all personally identifyable data is anonymized. (Privacy Policy)
    HubPages Traffic PixelThis is used to collect data on traffic to articles and other pages on our site. Unless you are signed in to a HubPages account, all personally identifiable information is anonymized.
    Amazon Web ServicesThis is a cloud services platform that we used to host our service. (Privacy Policy)
    CloudflareThis is a cloud CDN service that we use to efficiently deliver files required for our service to operate such as javascript, cascading style sheets, images, and videos. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Hosted LibrariesJavascript software libraries such as jQuery are loaded at endpoints on the googleapis.com or gstatic.com domains, for performance and efficiency reasons. (Privacy Policy)
    Google Custom SearchThis is feature allows you to search the site. (Privacy Policy)
    Google MapsSome articles have Google Maps embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    Google ChartsThis is used to display charts and graphs on articles and the author center. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSense Host APIThis service allows you to sign up for or associate a Google AdSense account with HubPages, so that you can earn money from ads on your articles. No data is shared unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Google YouTubeSome articles have YouTube videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    VimeoSome articles have Vimeo videos embedded in them. (Privacy Policy)
    PaypalThis is used for a registered author who enrolls in the HubPages Earnings program and requests to be paid via PayPal. No data is shared with Paypal unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook LoginYou can use this to streamline signing up for, or signing in to your Hubpages account. No data is shared with Facebook unless you engage with this feature. (Privacy Policy)
    MavenThis supports the Maven widget and search functionality. (Privacy Policy)
    Google AdSenseThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Google DoubleClickGoogle provides ad serving technology and runs an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Index ExchangeThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    SovrnThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Facebook AdsThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Unified Ad MarketplaceThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    AppNexusThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    OpenxThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Rubicon ProjectThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    TripleLiftThis is an ad network. (Privacy Policy)
    Say MediaWe partner with Say Media to deliver ad campaigns on our sites. (Privacy Policy)
    Remarketing PixelsWe may use remarketing pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to advertise the HubPages Service to people that have visited our sites.
    Conversion Tracking PixelsWe may use conversion tracking pixels from advertising networks such as Google AdWords, Bing Ads, and Facebook in order to identify when an advertisement has successfully resulted in the desired action, such as signing up for the HubPages Service or publishing an article on the HubPages Service.
    Author Google AnalyticsThis is used to provide traffic data and reports to the authors of articles on the HubPages Service. (Privacy Policy)
    ComscoreComScore is a media measurement and analytics company providing marketing data and analytics to enterprises, media and advertising agencies, and publishers. Non-consent will result in ComScore only processing obfuscated personal data. (Privacy Policy)
    Amazon Tracking PixelSome articles display amazon products as part of the Amazon Affiliate program, this pixel provides traffic statistics for those products (Privacy Policy)
    ClickscoThis is a data management platform studying reader behavior (Privacy Policy)