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Hey! Let's Give the Wild Boars a Break

Kenneth, born and raised in the South, resides in Hamilton, Alabama. He enjoys sharing his unique perspectives on life through his writing.

Here's My "Skinny" on Wild Boars and Now

as of 1990, up to 16 subspecies are recognized, which are divided into four regional groupings based on skull height and lacrimal bone length. The species lives in matriarchal societies consisting of interrelated females and their young (both male and female). Fully grown males are usually solitary outside the breeding season. The grey wolf is the wild boar's main predator throughout most of its range except in the Far East and the Lesser Sunda Islands, where it is replaced by the tiger and Komodo dragon, respectively. It has a long history of association with humans, having been the ancestor of most domestic pig breeds and a big-game animal for millennia.

It Would Appear That

in the one, solitary paragraph, a lot of valuable information has been omitted for the Wild Boar fan that I am and that irks me. The scientists and boar specialists go right for the jugular and throw down with a lot of scientific facts, stats, and words that none of us can relate to much less talk about with friends at dinner. What has happened to America?

I will gladly answer that question. Intolerance. That is the sum of all of my questions. From Zoot Suits to Rock Music, there has always been a calculated few that have rubbed against the fray--saying and giving their opinion as it was important as The Holy Bible. Maybe it is. But I don't make it my business to point fingers and when comes to Wild Boars, I feel very honored to be writing about the current surge of somewhat wide-spread sightings of these "Pigs on Acid," because they can be wild as well as dangerous to living things.

I have always loved the antics and adventures of Porky Pig, (thanks, Warner Bros.), and how he would always play the straight-shooter and when he teamed with his buddy, Daffy Duck (thanks again, Warner Bros.), the two would end up in total chaos and then Porky would be called on to get them out of the trouble and head for another town. What a life, now that I think of it.

Let me ask this rather hard question and see who answers. Besides having a few pounds on them (and who among us doesn't) just what is it that you, the Intolerant Few, have against the Wild Boar? Sure they are wild as "Cheetah," Tarzan's chimpanzee sidekick, and they smell worse than an outdoor toilet, so now, what is it that bugs you about "these living things? I implore you to tell me why you do not like Wild Boars? I promise to listen with an open mind and a sensitive heart.

Did you know that there are expert hunters armed with high-powered rifles, out to kill the herds of Wild Boars that have made themselves a home in some places of the south? A controversial photo was making the rounds a few months ago showing a dead Boar laying on the ground and the man who shot him standing next to it--and I tell you, the Boar was huge and I mean the biggest animal (next to the rhinoceros) and when I looked at the photo, I had a chill run over my spine. I have to tell you that I personally have a healthy respect for a living thing that can run over me and do what it wants without me getting in a punch.

And really, the Boar experts that I read about, were no more informed as you and I. The main thing about Wild Boars was what animal bred what and how in order to make (this) Boar to grow to such proportions. Plus, as they do live in herds and eat everything they see--and if people have produce gardens, they are open targets for the Wild Boar. It's like eating and terrorizing innocent people are their two main reasons for existing. I should be so blessed.

Don't get upset with me, but I think the Wild Boar has been given some dark publicity in the press and this coupled with men with powerful guns running after it and trapping what the men could trap, I would be in a perpetual bad mood if I were a Wild Boar. What about you? Do you understand? It's only when we can put ourselves in the Boar's hooves can we really feel what it's like to be hunted for days and always on the run. A boar on the lam, what a cute paradox. And if you look closely to my photos on this narrative, you will see just how cute that the Boar can be.

What I think to take care of the Wild Boar problem is NOT open-killing because in any society when its citizens resort to channeling their inner-primal spirit the result that surfaces is shedding innocent blood and in this case, the Wild Boar is right now in the cross hairs of these Mercenary Boar Hunters and for what? Maybe a few green backs for their trouble and have their photos in the paper? Again I ask you, what has become of America?

We, the last time I checked, are NOT vigilantes that roam the countryside making the wrong to the right without the needed-legal system. Wild Boars are not in the same league as an escaped convict as they were when Paul Newman gave an Academy Award-winning performance in "Cool Hand Luke." Boars are animals and they use animal intelligence and survival sense that would shame any Special Ops soldier. This is why I think that we need to take a longer, closer look at Wild Boars and how we can utilize them into becoming needed-segments of society.

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So, forget all of those rifles and traps. Let professional Wild Game experts have Wild Boar Educational Courses at their local junior colleges and when these Boar hunters learn that when violence begats violence, the only end result will always be more violence. Is that too hard?

Understanding and Tolerance by us, the caring society of America can do our part by keeping another Wild Boar from having its innocent blood spilled onto the American soil for which they bred and live. If, and I know that this will take time, enough trained Boar Experts can domesticate the Wild Boars and re-train them back to being as smart and needful as "Arnold Ziffel,"on CBS' "Green Acres," then the Wild Boar problem will be solved.

After these Boars are trained in the right way to not attack other animals (and people) and to stay away from the homeowners' produce gardens and land, society can really benefit from the Boars. Shoot! In the years down the road, we can even have an Adopt-a-Boar Program that can fully-financed by the Federal Game and Wildlife Association and what a thrill that will be. No more running the poor Boars and treating them like they were cold-hearted criminals will stop. And us extending a hand of peace instead of slapping their snouts will mean the difference.

When we make a humble-but-firm stance and show the Wild Boar that we are there to help educate them and help them survive in a healthy, safe domain. Who could ask for anything more?

And also in the years to come, songwriters and book authors can pen catchy songs "Bill, The Magic Boar," recorded by some retired Folk Singers and books written by the crew who worked the "Mister Rogers Neighborhood," the end of a long trail will have finally ended with peaceful, loving Wild Boars who love us and we love them. Is any of these ideas too hard to understand?

So now, all we need to do is get busy calling our support staff and friends and spread the word about Preserving The Wild Boar and once a few people are honestly-informed, this gesture can do wonders in taking care of such a noble animal as the Wild Boar.

We are glad to do it for you, Mr. Wild Boar and those like you. Help is coming. Just do us a favor and stay in your dens and wooded area and away from busy highways and places where we humans congregate and live.


For more information about Wild Boars, see

I ask you. Have you ever seen such a magnificent creation as this Wild Boar?

I ask you. Have you ever seen such a magnificent creation as this Wild Boar?

This content reflects the personal opinions of the author. It is accurate and true to the best of the author’s knowledge and should not be substituted for impartial fact or advice in legal, political, or personal matters.

© 2018 Kenneth Avery

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