Skip to main content

Andrew England

The artist currently known as "Andrew England" is wasting tens of thousands of dollars attending Youngstown State University. While not drawing pictures of random objects in the classroom, he can be found degeneratively gambling on poker websites and casinos, committing livercide at one of various local pubs and restaurants, or at a local place with a woman he barely knows pretending she could possibly not be horrible enough to spend the rest of eternity with (or until death of cirrhosis, whichever occurs first). However, this is futile, as he is destined to be forever alone with a collective of dogs he does not own yet, but will in the future: one of which he hopes to name "Roscoe". Too conservative to be able to discuss political matters with any of his associates comfortably, some of which he calls "friends", Andrew has turned to the internet in the hopes of sharing his ideas and as a possible career path. After all, how many jobs grant you the luxury of listening to your favorite Pandora station and frequent Tumblr while you work? That's pretty fetch. So he's banking on that. If it doesn't work, McDonald's is always hiring, too. That's where most philosophy majors end up, isn't it? At least that's what he hears.